today is so contradicting. haha..

'mei yang dong xi shi zhu ding de. zhe ge ren bu xi huan na ge ren, shi zhu ding de.'
[everything is fated. if this person don't like this person, it is fated.]

'why you don't want to stead with that guy?'
'no feeling what..'
'feelings can pei yang one mah..'

den why didn't -he- like me?

so contradicting luh.

bah..

why is it that they seem to be restricting my circle of friends whom i tell my problems to?..

tell horny, he's closer to them than me.. tell haha, she's closer to them than me..

haha..

i feel as if i said the most logical thing today..

after training, wenbin,me, ning and jamie were sitting on the table facing the primary school.. initially i was staring at the two bags of dried grass..

den zhenning came over and asked me what i was doing. and i told her i was looking at the bags of dried grass..

'the world is full of hypocrites. but maybe there are some non-hypocrites.' like that bag of dried grass. it's like the whole world.. the dried grass is the hypocrites in the world.. but you never know whether there are green grasses inside.. they represent the non-hypocrites. but not every1 can see them.. as if they are camouflaged by the dried leaves..

seriously lah! i feel as if that's the most logical thing i said in my entire sec3 life.

den wenbin came, followed by jamie. and zhenning repeated everything i said to her. and we continued talking. haha..
i need to cry. but i don't dare to anymore. i don't want ppl to think i want sympathy..
-

i want to stop thinking.

no.

i need to stop thinking.

make me deaf, so i can't hear what ppl say about me.
make me blind, so i can't see what they do to me.
make me dead, so everything in my life can be solved.

just settle the funeral and i'll rest in peace.